(Oct. 3, 2013)
I have been a seeker for many years. Although we are all technically on a spiritual journey, I became aware of this fact roughly 12 years ago when I was "broken open" by life's events. At that time, the circumstances of my life forced me to begin questioning, and to start looking for answers to those questions. I started asking myself such things as, "How did I get here?", "Why is this happening?", "What do I want?", "What does it all mean?" and so on. The problem, I realized only a mere 12 years later, is that I would not find those answers outside of myself. It seems glaringly obvious now that what I needed to do was look within, and though I did some of that, It wasn't substantial enough to move me forward. Regrettably, I remained stuck in that questioning phase for way too long, grasping at everything outside of me that looked like it may be the solution to my problems. I spent a long time confused, riddled with indecision, and frustrated. I knew there was a better way, I just didn't know what it was. Everything that I grabbed onto outside of myself created a fleeting sort of happiness, but nothing long lasting.
And now, something has clicked! Happiness cannot be found on the outside, it can only be found on the inside. Although I am sure this is something I already knew, it just didn't resonate with me on a deep level until recently. For the last few months, I have been on a more focused spiritual path, and determined to find some answers, which is requiring me to go below the surface of my thoughts to the emotions that are hidden away, stuck, and causing me all of this indecision, confusion, etc... As I am beginning to release these emotions, and learn the lessons they were here to teach me, so much insight has been flooding into my thoughts, which in turn creates relief, healing, and joy. It has also brought with it an internal confidence and a return of my inner guidance system that was lost long ago.
So although, I have learned much in the last 12 years in the way of "head knowledge" from the countless spiritual books I've read and the wisdom of life's challenging experiences, I must say the most profound thing I've learned on this path is that happiness, indeed, comes from within. And once you really begin experiencing this on a "knowing" level that resonates deep in your heart, body, mind, and spirit, wonderful things begin to happen.