(Jul. 19, 2017) I'm feeling a pause right now. Early last week I announced that I would be releasing my recent paintings for purchase on my website, as both originals and prints. I set a self-imposed deadline to hold me accountable. The administrative side of running a business can be fulfilling at times, but right now it feels like a lot of decisions and a lot of torquing away on the computer getting everything right. It weighs on my perfectionist side, until it gets overwhelming and I think, "I just want something simple."
I want a simple website where I can simply offer the things I make without stress. I want my creative space to feel free, and not fit into a box. And so I pause.
I didn't make my deadline. Partially for these reasons, and partially because of some unexpected family issues. As the baby wouldn't nap and I was stressing about not making my deadline, I paused and told myself, "This is your own deadline. You can choose to extend it if you want to." And so I let it go.
Instead of jumping right back into it when I had more time, I have allowed myself to continue with the pause. Instead I'm asking myself some questions. Why do I make art? Do I just want to paint, or do I actually want to sell art? How do I want my business to feel? How can I create a sustainable business when my daily life with children can be unpredictable? How can I be of service to others without compromising myself?
This is what I know so far:
- I need to allow time for inspiration prior to beginning new work.
- My offerings must nourish myself as well as others.
- I need to have the space to put things on hold when my family needs me.
- I absolutely love painting.
And so I pause again. The message here is we don't need to rush to know, produce, or create if even if we feel like we do. There are seasons, there is breathing room, and there is space.
If you are craving space in an area of your life, I encourage you to allow yourself that pause. Where it's for a moment, a day, or a season. You can always get back to the business of doing. In the meantime, the pause allows space for the wisdom to filter in <3