I love Danielle LaPorte, partially because she is a rebel and thinks out of the box, but also because she taught me about core desired feelings. Allow me to explain the concept. Everything that we want is because of the way we think it will make us feel. For example, if someone wants a new flashy sports car, what they really might want is to feel successful. Or someone wanting more money may really be seeking security. In some cases, someone may want something like a high powered executive job only to find out that they don’t feel how they thought they would when they got it.
A better way is to dig below the surface and ask ourselves, “How do I want to feel?” when thinking about goal setting. When we focus on our true desired feelings, these become our values, and help us when it comes to decision making. Plus, it’s much easier to find ways to generate these feelings in much simpler ways than previously thought. When we focus on how we want to feel, we have more opportunities to feel that way. We also might find that we don’t have to pursue goal X, Y, or Z because we already feel how we want to feel.
After some soul searching, I found that my core desired feelings are:
I thought I would have different feelings for life, love, and business, however I realized that these 4 feelings are how I want to feel in all areas of my life. So for example, if I was deciding on a certain place to live, I could ask myself, “Do I feel inspired, free, loved, and understood here?” If those answers are no, then I need to keep looking. Also, I might find that I can feel inspired simply by taking a walk outside. Or I can feel loved by buying myself some new pajamas. Designing my life around these feelings offers more clarity and more chances to feel how I want to feel. I also recommend focusing on ways to give these feelings to others, since what goes out comes back, and also because it is truly uplifting to give to someone else what you value. Also, a good idea for relationships to find out what the people in your life value and help give that to them.
So what are your core desired feelings???
**I recommend visiting DanielleLaPorte.com and signing up for her email newsletter. It is always a good read, and a catalyst for desire. Danielle makes desire a good thing, not something we should feel bad about. She wrote “The Fire Starter Sessions,” which I own, and her latest “The Desire Map.” You can also find her on live speeches on YouTube.